_oblige_

It happened overnight -- more or less. In that time frame I managed to alter a part of my life. My life, therefore, is alterable.

I got tired of being upset and worried. Tired of pretending not to care that I was upset and worried. And possibly, tired of not even knowing what I was really upset and worried about. In between letting out a heavy sigh and furrowing my brows and biting my lips, I finally, finally got it. My agony was resembling foolishness. I had to stop it because it wasn't making any sense anymore. It simply went against sense.

Why is it always hard for us to practice what we preach? And even harder for us to see what's happening under our noses. Even when someone points out to us what's really going on, we make erratic rationalizations and stupid defenses. We ignore what's really out there -- the truth. We ignore it because it hurts, and for most of us, we're naturally escapists.

But you wake up to actuality -- in your own style, own time. For some people, it takes something grand for this to take place. In my case, however, it was hearing the silence after shredding a paper. After that sharp sound, it's calmness. Stillness. That same calmness overpowered me.

And I allowed it.

_roll_

I was surprised -- and pleased -- to know that I have become more forgiving over the years. Getting hurt now, compared to getting hurt 10 years ago, really makes a huuuge difference. Simply put, my perspective has changed. That's what happens when you grow older. :)

In my younger years (which was not so long ago hehe :P), whenever something bad happens to me, I always ask God WHY? I kept asking what I did to deserve such treatment.

While I still believe that misfortunes can happen, I have at least stopped believing that life is unfair. Maturity led me to believe that when awful things happen to unsuspecting good people, God is not being cruel to them....to me. :)

It's just life taking place.

_trace_

That I was soul searching during our recent trip to Taipei was a bit exaggerated. :P But somehow, I really did "find" something when I was there.

I had a few hours to explore the city by myself. Going for a walk has always been my way of coping and reassessing. It was especially different when I was in Taipei. Since that "fateful day", it was the first time I really had time to think; to listen; to pay attention.

For a few minutes, perhaps hours, I allowed all the thoughts to occupy me. The problem with thinking is that overdoing it can give you a headache. I don't know if it was the heat (as I started walking just before noon) or hunger, or the language barrier, or that heavy thinking mode, or all of the above -- but after a while, I just wanted to splash ice cold water all over me. Anyhow, all those thoughts soaked me perfectly.

All those doubts I had -- all gone. All those questions I had -- all answered. Not all answers, however, were definite. I didn't get just Yes's and No's..I also got Maybe's.

My recent trip was, I might almost say, the very first time that I truly understood the difference between happiness and joy. My happiness is based on circumstances, while joy is my emotional well being. And while the opposite of happiness is unhappiness, the opposite of joy is fear.

And seriously, for the first time in my life, I actually appreciate my first name :) My nickname JAR would not be complete without it.

Taipei definitely left a mark on me...and I'm going back for sure.

_awaken_

The greater loneliness of our lives comes from our hesitations -- our unwillingness to indulge, our unwillingness to thrill ourselves, our unwillingness to just simply...GO! We seem to be dampening our inner weather every now and then.

But everyone knows, certainly I know, that we have a choice.

I had a choice. And I chose to end my misery. I realized that in some cases, the only cross to bear is the one I CHOOSE to carry.

I also realized that there is no point postponing my happiness and peace of my mind -- both of which I know I truly deserve.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung bakit pinahihirapan ko sarili ko...

::: Looking for: IT Business Analyst and UNIX Administrator :::

Job Location: Singapore

IT Business Analyst

To participate in key project initiatives in T24 and Murex implementation program

Requirements:
• Good knowledge of treasury products and derivatives - specific experience and knowledge of Fixed Income, FX/MM and Derivative products would be an advantage
• Excellent analytical skills for problem resolution
• Effective team player and point of contact for subject matter expertise
• Able to deliver results under pressure and tight deadlines


UNIX Administrator

To support Core Banking project implementation and day-to-day HP UNIX, SAN administration

Requirements:
• 3 yrs of relevant experience in HP-Unix Administration
• Possess certification in HP-Unix System Administration
• Experience in data protector and HP SAN is an added advantage


Please send resume in word format to p.lanto@magenta-consulting.com

Indicate the position you're applying for in the SUBJECT LINE.

::: Calling On All IT Peeps :::

My friend's company is hiring IT people to work in Singapore. If you are interested, please send me your CV. Drop me a message here first.

At the moment, there are 3 openings (see below), but they may also find a match for you in the near future. So send me those CV's NOW. :) Please don't forget to state your birthday and marital status in your CV's...because I need to know if my soon to be roommate is married or not haha! :P Seriously, you need to indicate those items in your CV's so they can profile you accurately.

1) IBM Datastage TX Middleware (previously Mercator)

2) Peoplesoft CRM Developer

Company : Private Bank
Job Type : Permanent
Job Location : Singapore


Essential Technical Knowledge/Skills :
Experienced as a technical consultant in PeopleSoft applications, preferably in CRM 8.8
Detailed knowledge of PeopleTools 8.48 or later(Application Packages, PeopleCode, Application Engine, Integration Broker, Component Interface),
Experienced with HTML, Java and PDF Generation tools.
Able to administer PeopleSoft Servers ie. Application/Web Server, Process Scheduler Server
Some knowledge of application architecture design is a plus.
Experienced in usage of UNIX, Windows Servers is mandatory.
Experienced in usage of ORACLE, and technically proficient with PL/SQL is mandatory.
Proficient with PeopleTools (Component Interface, Integration broker/Workflow/PeopleSoft Query)
Experienced in performing reconciliation of data between IT systems, and in-depth technical troubleshooting


Qualifications and Experience :

Education background - Engineering /Computing / Business
2 to 4 years experience in PeopleSoft developments, preferably in CRM

Other Value-added Competencies :
Private Banking knowledge, especially on Front Office CRM domain (account opening, client acceptance, etc).
Knowledge in OLYMPIC or similar Core Private Banking system is a plus.
Knowledge in Client Information system is a plus.

3) AAA Core Analyst

Functional knowledge

Securities (Equities, bonds, derivatives, Struct. Prods…)

FX / Money market

Payments

Cash Management

Credit

Tax

Pricing

Performance

Portfolio Management (asset allocation, rebalancing, ..)

Technical skills:

Oracle, Sybase

Triple’A Scripting and system set up

Unix (shell scripting)

Organization Aspect :

• Well structured in the daily work

• Good communication skills

• Good team player

Master degree with minor in computer science, minor in portfolio management.

5 years experience in the private banking or asset management industry (experience in PM modules of banking systems like Midas Plus, Finantix, Avaloq or Temenos are relevant)

Other Value-added Competencies :

• previous exposure on Odyssey's Triple'A system is a strong plus

• knowledge of process methodology (esp. CMMI) is a plus

• Some knowledge of French language

• Some knowledge of Spanish language may be useful

::: JOB OPENING :::

My friend is looking for someone who knows IBM Datastage TX Middleware (previously Mercator) and is willing to work here in Singapore.

Interested? Drop me a message.